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(OK, I'm being faux-cocky here for effect, but honestly, looking at it now, most of what I wrote is true.

I would just never actually say those things out loud and mean them because that's one thing Russian girls are not: overly braggy, annoying people.)Russian women get a bad reputation for the whole "mail order bride" business, but I'm here to shatter that misguided notion (sorry not sorry): Most Russian girls don't actually sell themselves to American men for money.

For the most part, they marry humans they genuinely like, which brings me to my next point: You should absolutely consider yourself very lucky if you ever have the chance to chill with a girl from Russia.

More likely than not, she's fierce, fearless, and essentially your dream girl (that is, if you're into strong women who challenge the patriarchal system and aren't afraid of wearing a little bit of pleather). You haven't experienced music until you've experienced Russian pop music, which is designed to comfortably lodge itself in the crevices of your brain until the end of time.

Even if she just suspects you're doubting her, or you've dissed her in the slightest, she'll tell you what's what.

Sometimes this comes off as aggressive, but you should know that she's been raised to question authority and probably mistrust just about everything and everyone (KGB holdovers, sorry).

Of course, there are really nice Russian men who love and respect their wives and kids. I am married to a German man and we have a wonderful 3 y.o. I still strongly believe that Western men are a better husband and father material.

But we know how to have a good time, and we know how to entertain.

What "having a good time" and "entertaining" actually look like will vary from woman to woman because, duh, we're all incredibly unique just like anyone else.

The way we dress ourselves is an important form of self-expression, and we take that self-expression very seriously.

If you’ve won over the hearts of your Russian lady love and her family, they will probably love you forever, vigorously worry about you like it's a competitive sport, and feed you until you definitely need to loosen your belt.

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