Avoid dating alcoholics intelligent dating service

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Dear Stanton: I am currently attracted to a woman who has a history of dating alcoholics.When she told me that she had allowed her alcoholic ex-lover to crash on her couch indefinitely, I had to step back from the situation.

Since I’ve had my fair share of alcoholic lovers, I know I can coddle abusive personalities.The reason this advice hurt so much at the time was that it would have forced me to see my part in things. At my office, I began to put together a black and white list of the things in our relationship that I could not accept.And when you are with an alcoholic, you are used to suffering in silence as the martyr, wondering why the alcoholic does what s/he does. This included that he did not go to my grandfather’s funeral, he did not come home all night long, and he brought cocaine into our home.After four and half pages of undeniable facts, I realized that there was no longer any question of whether or not I could stay with him. When you live with an addict, you are never quite certain about reality. By writing down the facts as they happened, he could not come back to me later with his own version of the truth.In my case, there were months of lying about his sobriety when I just wasn’t sure whether he was drinking or not.

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